Randomness...

It's homecoming week! Events start tomorrow...which means I'll have a ton of pictures to put up over the next few days (though I'm sure I'll get behind, so don't expect them like every night...I still have school to do here). I also have pictures from a coffee shop excursion on Saturday, but those are gonna wait for a little while, till the article for which they were taken has been published. So that's what you have to look forward to, if you were wondering.

I'm listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's new album, re:creation. It's good =) I kinda like the originals of most of the songs better, but these are good too. And I like the new ones on the album. I forgot about SCC for a while (despite having seen him in concert three different times...), and remembered how good his music was again recently. God has given him so much talent...it's awesome.

Glee wasn't amazing tonight. It should have been. But it wasn't bad. My favorite character sang "Something's Coming," from West Side Story...which is an amazing song =) So that was fun.

My friends are trying to get me hooked on so many different shows...Project Runway, Pan Am, and Once Upon a Time, among others. Besides all the shows I already watch. 'Cause I need more ways to waste time...not.

People talk a lot faster than I can type. I've been transcribing an interview for someone, and I didn't realize how much of a difference there is. 

My POTS is getting a little better, which is a huge praise! I went to my cardiologist yesterday, and my heart rate's down a little bit, and my blood pressure doesn't drop as much as it used to when I stand up =) Small improvements, but it's still nice to know something's changing!

There's an amazing concert this weekend, for anyone in the DC area, right here at the PHC campus. It's called Mission Abolition, and is raising money for an amazing cause...and you should come! Check it out at www.abolitionconcert.org.

And last but not least, if you've made it this far, your one picture of this post. Rachel is generally awesome. She made me the smoothie I'm drinking now, cause I was too lazy to get up and do it myself. Rachel also got a Nerf gun for her birthday, so she created a gallery of pictures on our bedroom wall for targets...this is the result:

This reflects her opinion of certain celebrities, not mine. Just in case you were wondering.

Anyway. Try not to step on a frog today! (Believe it or not, that can be challenging for some of us...they hide in the grass by our sidewalk at night and jump out in front of me when I'm coming home from school...it's always an adventure getting inside).   =)

Cake Without Ice Cream

In case you hadn't noticed yet, I can be a little (okay, more than a little) sarcastic at times. Though I prefer the term "snarky." If you haven't heard this term before, you obviously don't have the right friends...you should work on changing that, rather than sitting around reading a random person's blog. Just saying.

Anyway. My point was, I just thought of an awesome analogy with which to describe said snarkiness...which is why you're getting two posts in one day. 'Cause it really didn't fit with pictures of cute puppies.

So, here's my brilliance...you ready for it? Me without sarcasm is like cake without ice cream: still good, but not nearly as awesome as the whole thing put together =)

Yeah, not as brilliant as it could be. It's late. I'm a college student who's been thinking about the "cultural role of rhetoric" for hours. Don't judge.

Guinness =)

No, this is not a post about beer. Sorry, if that caught your attention ;) To discover what it actually is about, you'll have to read through (or at least scroll through) the summary of life which is a staple of every blog.

So, now that I have your attention, today was an interesting day...I left my phone at home, my computer crashed twice (when I had a bunch of homework I needed to do), and my Lyme has been messing with my body a lot =P However, I had a fascinating discussion over lunch about the differences in how guys and girls think, and how they manifest maturity, and got to spend an hour or so talking to Rebekah in the library...so it was by no means all bad. It's good I go down there to hang out after the "official" librarians are gone, cause we're not super quiet........

Anyway, you've seen all the photos I've taken recently, so this is kind of a random snippet of my life this past year =)

I love dogs--I always have =) I love most animals, actually, that aren't bugs or reptiles. Horses are my favorite...they're amazing. Sometimes (but not very often), I like horses better than I like people. But that's beside the point. 

This is Guinness. He's one of the reasons I love dogs so much =) He's a pretty old Yorkie, who I take care of when his family goes on vacation...and he's adorable. You want proof?? Just scroll down...

If you still didn't believe me, I offer further proof below...but seriously, how could you resist that face?

Mmhmm. He's soooooooo cute =) He's also very smart: I'll sit on the couch and read or watch a movie with a blanket on my legs, and he'll come sit on me and keep me warm...it's pretty much the most adorable thing ever, and reinforced my decision that I am going to have a dog someday, despite all my allergies.

So there's Guinness. Hope he made you smile =)

Craziness...

The last few days have been pretty hectic: school + dance (and dance preparation) + Faith and Reason Day + massive room cleaning/organizing = craziness. It's been fun, but pretty insane nonetheless.

Friday was a long day, starting out with an amazing lecture by Dr. Hake, then with discussion, lunch, and a panel discussion/question and answer session--which was all followed by a photo shoot, homework, and baking for the freshman dance the next day. For the photo shoot, I got to take pictures of Taylor's wing, all dressed up for the day =)

The wing =) 

A couple roomie pictures...

Taylor and her roommate, Kayla...

Aren't they adorable? I love them =)

And here are the few photos I snapped while we were baking brownies and making chocolate-covered pretzel sticks for the dance...it was pretty chaotic, but lots of fun =)

Saturday morning I helped re-organize some of the furniture in my old room to make space for some more bookshelves...what can I say: I collect books. Lots of them. It just happens, I don't even know how! But it's wonderful =) Then Rachel and I collected and alphabetized them all, and got them on the shelves, ending up with this:

 Aren't they beautiful? Having a library this size makes me very happy =)

I hadn't realized I had so many books.................it's an amazing thing =)

And then Saturday night (after running errands, taking friends places, delivering the finally-dried pretzel sticks, and grabbing something to eat) was the freshman dance! It was wonderful--Lauren, Danae, and Alyssa did a great job putting everything together, and Stephen and Chaedon were pretty epic as DJs. Since starting school at PHC, I've discovered the amazingness which is dancing, and I love it =) So it was a great night!

And I guess that brings me up to today...I'm fighting a headache, editing photos, completing phase 2 of room cleaning, and finishing up my homework for tomorrow before worship at school tonight...so I'm obviously still busy, but God is good! He's gotten me this far, and He'll carry me through everything that lies ahead =)

DC...'Cause It's Awesome =)

DC is one of the most photogenic places around...and plus, you can stop and take photos and no one thinks you're weird (though they assume you're a tourist and laugh at you inwardly...or at least I do, at all the other people with cameras).

A million people probably have pictures of the Washington Monument, but it's kinda big and hard to miss...and fun to take pictures of =) This is as the sun was coming up one November morning...it was cold =P 

And this was a beautiful, clear day in September...the sky was an amazing color, as you can see...

The World War II memorial is also beautiful...there is a lot of granite in DC, in case you couldn't tell. It makes it really, really bright on sunny days. But beautiful =)

I love the quotes on the walls...there are more, all about the war, and both saddening and inspiring...

My state of residence =)

Isn't it cool that this is part of a museum?? I find that amazing =) It's suuuuuch a cool building! Known as the Smithsonian Castle.

And this photo at the end is another of my favorites ever. I snapped it as we were walking into Union Station, and got home and saw it on my computer and was thrilled...so that's DC from my perspective =)

On a completely random note, huge thunderstorms are amazing...the sky outside has been getting black, it's windy, and there is amazing lighting all over the place...sooo cool!

So Yeah...I'm Sick.

I know I've mentioned health problems on here recently, and I figured it will be easier to explain now than have people wonder. In the last month-ish, I have been diagnosed with POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome), Lyme disease, and an infection that came along with Lyme called bibesia. Basically, I'm kinda sick. I got sick, very suddenly, last November (the Sunday before Thanksgiving), and have been tested for dozens of things since then as a succession of doctors tried to figure out what in the world was going on.

Basically, what those diseases mean is that I'm exhausted, nauseous, dizzy, dealing with migraines, generally weak, unable to exercise (or walk or even stand very long), and that I have hearing and vision problems and short-term memory loss. I think that's the basic list of symptoms. They're caused by a variety of things, if my doctors are right, and I'm on a bajillion medications that are supposed to start treating them soon.

It's not fun. I've kind of forgotten what it's like to be healthy. What it means to feel "normal." To be able to stand and worship God in chapel with everyone else, or go kick a soccer ball around. Or even just go to DC or for a walk. So many things I used to take for granted are gone...and a lot of my dreams have been endangered. But God is so good.

In the months I’ve been sick, I’ve responded quite a few different ways…denial for weeks, expecting whatever this was to just go away and refusing to go see a doctor…frustration as doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me (or thought I was basically fine and all this was in my head)…fear when they thought I had cancer…depression after I had to drop out of school and couldn’t figure out what in the world God was doing…and now it’s kind of a mix of things. When I’m thinking clearly, I’m incredibly grateful for everything God has taught me through this, and all the friends who have come around me. It’s been, without a doubt, the hardest experience of my life…but God has shown me so many different things, about myself and about Him, that it could have taken me years to see otherwise.

And I wish I could say I’ve “learned” everything He’s been teaching me. But that’s definitely not true. Sure, I’m not suicidal any more, but I also have grumpy days…and weeks. Like last week, for example. But God keeps sending just the right person into my life to say something, maybe completely unintentionally, and break through my stupidity and show me the truth. It’s amazing how often it happens, actually, through friends, chapel speakers, sermons, even random blogs my friends send to me  =)

Anyway, this post is getting really long…but I was reading Psalms today (I love the Psalms…they’re amazing…) and got to Psalm 13. And it fits so well, so I have to share it. It starts out,

“How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?”

 I don’t know who wrote this psalm, or when exactly, but he’s saying almost exactly the things I’ve said to God (or, more often, to myself) over the past months. But he ends it so differently than I usually do:

 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the LORD’s praise, for he has been good to me."

This isn’t my first response, most of the time…but it should be! God has been so good to me—even though my life in this moment may be harder than it has in the past, or harder than those of others around me, He sent His Son to die for me! He has chosen to love me, despite all my weaknesses and failings. In light of that, a headache really isn’t all that bad…


(and yes, I promise I will find photos to put up in the next post…)

God Is So Good.

The last few days have been my best in such a long time...I feel so blessed right now, by the people around me and by the incredible God who is showing me so many things. And this is despite the fact that I've been dealing with a migraine for over a week now. God has filled me with joy, and I'm so overwhelmed and grateful.

I’m especially thankful for my school. We have an incredible blessing in students who volunteer to lead worship on Sunday nights for everyone who wants to come, and who take the initiative to put together a short Bible study each week…

It feels like God has been reminding me of a lot of things in the last few days, and the message at worship was another pointer to a truth I’ve known, but had more or less forgotten. We read parts of Galatians 5 and focused on these two verses:

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

And later in the chapter, “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”

Our leader pointed us to these verses, pointing out that we are truly free—but we so often live like we aren’t. As he said, God has freed us from our chairs and given us the ability to stand…but we choose to sit around anyway. We ignore God’s clear commandments, not because we can’t obey them, but because we won’t.

Then the second verse in Galatians…what do we do with this freedom God has given us? We love each other. We remember what God has done for us, and we respond to Him in gratitude and obedience…and love.

This came after a powerful sermon that morning about Noah…my pastor’s main point was that Noah was an ordinary man made extraordinary by his faith. He was a recipient of God’s grace, and rather than just sitting around, he chose to obey—and God blessed his obedience immensely.

That was both convicting and inspiring to me… Noah is one of the greatest heroes of our faith, and yet I can do what he did: obey in faith. That’s incredibly encouraging. At the same time, though, something so simple is more than challenging enough for me to work on for the rest of my life…

And, in case you were wondering, this post is really for me…with my short-term memory loss right now, I won’t remember these messages much longer and I want to have them written down where I can see them again. If they encourage anyone else, I’m incredibly glad. If not, forgive me for taking up your time. Get off your computer and go love somebody =)

In Which I Go to Maine =D

 So right near the beginning of August, I did one of the most exciting things of my life: flew up to Maine (by myself for the FIRST TIME!) to see my amazing friend Sara and her family, and then fly back with her to school when she needed to be back. It was wonderful =) We made so many memories, and I loved meeting her family...I didn't take a whole lot of pictures, though. I just brought my camera to the coast the day we went...and it wasn't even my SLR (my "nice camera," for my non-photography-language-literature friends).

It wasn't even a Canon.

It was a Nikon.

Yes, you may gasp in shock and horror now.

If you didn't know (or guess), I kinda like Canon. They're amazing. But I bought a Nikon point-and-shoot before the trip, so I wouldn't have to carry my massive camera and lenses with me...I actually returned it later, not happy with the picture quality...so I'm no longer quite as much of a traitor. But yeah. If you don't like these pictures, blame the camera =)

The coastline on Maine on a stormy day...beautiful =)

A ship wrecked here on Christmas Eve in 1886...at least, that's what the sign says...

 

 Colors can still be amazing on a cloudy day...we didn't get to see the view from the top of the lighthouse, but it was beautiful just walking along the shore... 

This is Sara's brother Isaac, demonstrating the "young explorer" pose =)

And this is Sara and her younger sister Abby, walking down towards the fort...it's not the best picture ever, but it makes me happy...they're so cute...

I love photos of sailboats...this is my second favorite one I've ever taken...the first one is from Michigan, but I must share it anyway, just cause it's one of my personal favorite photos =P

I love the simplicity...it just makes me happy =)

Anyway, Maine was amazing...we shopped, visited lots of Sara's relatives, played with dogs, hung out and read, ate amazing food, and generally talked non-stop =) It was wonderful...my absolute favorite part, actually, was on our flight home: we came down over New York City for our layover at JFK airport during the sunrise...such an incredible sight. I still want to live there =)

Yeah, It's Been a While

So school has started up again, and people are back in the area, and life is crazy...for those who don't know, I've been dealing with significant health problems since last November, and recently I haven't had a ton of energy. Right now I'm sitting here with a migraine that's lasted a week, so this won't be a super long post. I just wanted to say, yes, I'm still here, and hopefully I'll be back more regularly in the near future =)

I'm so grateful for my wonderful friends at school...they've made the first three weeks back a really good time--though it's been hard, too. But I love being able to stay up and talk randomly till midnight about anything and everything, and learning about literature with my professors, and arguing about science fiction and Ayn Rand, and watching awesome movies together...God has truly blessed me. I'm even enjoying Latin, which is the last thing on earth I expected (having hated it for seven years of school previously...)

Despite all my failures, God keeps pulling me back into His arms...and I'm so incredibly grateful for it. He's working on our campus now, and it's amazing to see. I feel like I should have something deep and profound to share here, but I don't really. One of my favorite verses recently has been from Isaiah 25...It says that God will "swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; He will remove His people's disgrace from all the earth. The LORD has spoken. In that day they will say, "Surely this is our God; we trusted in Him, and He saved us. This is the LORD, we trusted in Him; let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation." When I look back on my life, this is what I see...less of my trusting and more of God's salvation, but I see His work over and over. It's such a powerful and beautiful thing, and I can't believe I forget it so often...

There are so many verses and truths God has been reminding me of recently, and I want to share all of them...but I also don't want to write the longest blog post in the history of the world. So they'll show up in the near future.

One last thing was really cool today, though...God used a friend to convict me--and by convict I mean, pretty much rock my world and the way I see my faith. He was talking about what he wanted to do with his life, and basically said that he would give up what he wants, traveling and doing exciting things like that, if he could serve God better here. I hadn't heard such a clear statement of faith and of desire to be used for God's kingdom in...a really long time. And now I'm wondering if I can truthfully say the same thing. Because I want, desperately, for that to be true for me, too.

Anyway. Just stuff I've been processing. I'll be back with photos and stories from a trip to Maine soon!